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تعليق رقم ( 6 )

 

اسـمــــــــــــــــك
  B.M.

 

الدولــــــــــــــــة
  Lebanon

 

 

الموضـــــــــــوع
  How cure my homosexuality ?

 

التعليـــــــق
My name is B. M. : I'm canadian from Montreal , origin lebanese from Beirut . I'm 46 years old .I'm civil Engineer .I'm now in Beirut , lebanon . First of all , i want to appologize by writting in english because my keyboard is in english . I know arabic very well .
I'm 46 years old , and i 'm very attracted to men or guys , especially beautiful guys .I'm not attracted to women at all , at all . I'm attracted to their faces , to their bodies . I never made sexual relations with men in my life .
What i 've made in my life only light or exterior relations , i touched and played with guy's dicks and masturbate them , only few times in my life . I never fucked or be fucked , nor i did oral relations which means i never sucked or made penetration or be penetrate in my ass : I don't like these things at all . I never was top nor bottom in my life . Only i'm attracted to men by their faces and their bodies , when i masturbate , i imagine their faces , their bodies , their dicks , because when i saw dicks i'm very excited .
I'm 46 years old , but i look if i were 28 or 30 years .
My body and my head and my brain didn't grow . My head is small , like the girls head . I was very thick : 45 kg . I was in canada , montreal since 12 years , the 3rd year in canada , i
had depression and anxiety , i was taking medications such as prozac in the morning , and Remeron before sleeping : this was for 8 years . When i returned in lebanon , i took these medications : Risperdal 2mg , Seroxat 20 mg in the morning
and 1 tablet of Rivotril 0.5 mg before sleeping. So i'm taking Risperdal , Seroxat and Rivotril since 2 years .
Now i'm training myself in a gym : Running with machines , bodybuilding . But i have big problem : I can't sleep all the night , i sleep during the day .

These are my problems , but the major problem is my homosexuality , the idea of men is most of time in my head , and i look to men with lust : i want to become a straight man , a normal man , now i don't look like a real man , but i'm not feminin at all . All my life i had lot of complicated things especially i was obliged to enter to Beirut Arab University which i hated so much because its system was arabic , and the courses was in arabic and my parents oblige me that and to do civil engineer which i hate it to maximum , i wanted to study Electrical Engineer , but i couldn't , i stayed in the university 9 years , every year i repeated it twice and i fall in all courses . When i was graduated from university , i worked as civil engineer , i hate it so much more and more than theoritacally in the university . I like to study in Electronis Engineering and in Telecommunications so much . I went to canada on 13 August 1998 . I studied in this major , but after 3 years i fall in depression and anxiety , when i got my certificate at the university . My major problem is my specialisation which is Civil Engineering : Construction : i don't like it at all , i hate it so much , i like to work with instruments with technology , not with sand and gravel and steel .
I have obssession , but with the big quantity of prozac i took during 9 years , the obssession has reduced to 80 %
Before i took prozac , i was very thin , like 3/4 dead i was , my weight was 45 kg . After i took prozac , my shape changed completly to better , my weight reached 73 kg , my face and everything in me changed to better .

So , these are my major problems .
, but i wanted to make everything clear to you .
I beg you to help me to change my homosexuality , and to tell me the right psychiatric who treats homosexuality , a consultant psychiatric in Beirut , lebanon i'll be thankfull .

 
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